To confirm or to ignore?
Social networking is complicated. In the mid-90s, it started off with chat-based programs, such as mirc and ICQ. This was quickly followed by more dynamic and advanced chat programs by Yahoo Messenger, MSN and eventually GChat. While chatting progressed, online networking took off simultaneously with profiles and blogging (geocities, eCircle and Friendster).
These web programs provided us the opportunity none of us had in the 90s, to create a brand new self; allowing us to become someone we’re not. It was a release for those who found it difficult to express their true selves in real life. But, how true is one’s online persona to that in real life?
Take for example, the tacit competition for the largest number of friends among Friendster/MySpace/Facebook members. At first glance, a large number of friends on your profile implies that the person is of some level of importance or even of a particular status. Because aren’t you considered ‘popular’ when you have 2000++ friends on your profile?
To me, this unspoken competition is completely meaningless. Many friends online does not mean many friends in real life. In fact, it could be completely opposite. So, what is the point of connecting with people you’ve probably only met once?
It is said that each person has an average of 300 friends/connections. There lies the power of weak ties. The word of mouth is influential. Large network of acquaintances could be used to help spread your word, opinion, thought or idea, a bush fire during drought. A personal opinion is more credible than cheesy TV ads. What a person says about a newly opened restaurant, for example, can make or break a business.
The problem is that there isn’t always an opinion or thought or idea to express. Even when there is something to express, its not meant for the entire world to listen. Once something is online, it stays online. I’ve read and heard countless stories of friends who got themselves into trouble for tweeting or facebooking their status, only to face the repercussions of an angered boss/girlfriend/mother.
On one hand, there is the benefit of many connections on your social network; on the other hand, there is a need to limit your online expression for privacy and protection. I’m asking this question, after 300++ words, is because I’ve decided to switch the search settings on FB from ‘Friends only’ to ‘Friends of friends’. Under the ‘Friends Only’ search, one was only able to find me if they had my email address. I’ve switched my settings after ‘friends of friends’, who are also my (real) friends, complained that they found it difficult to add me onto their friends lists. While I do appreciate keeping in touch with (real) friends, I had somehow opened the flood gates for others to request for ‘friends confirmation’.
Those whom I don’t know, I’d completely ignore. But what do you do with friends from a long forgotten past or with someone, who seems to know all your friends, requests for your confirmation? Do I confirm to reap the benefits of weak ties? Or do I ignore to protect my privacy?
Should I confirm or ignore?
My friend was accused of “me-’ngorat’-ing ” someone’s husband.
KC
June 7, 2009 at 10:12 am
I had that accusation before as well.
So not fun.
linglingtai
June 7, 2009 at 10:52 am
I think it’s the guy’s fault. Haha…tat fella kept commenting on the pictures, till the wife got jealous
It would be interesting if it ever happens to me..huahuhauhuahua
Anyway, it’s a compliment to you
KC
June 7, 2009 at 10:55 am
I mean not in the guy’s shoes, but more of a husband getting jealous of me
hehe like i said, a compliment to be in such situation 
KC
June 7, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Believe me. Its really not fun at all being accused as such, even if its a compliment. I’d never want to be known as ‘the other girl’. I’m just so blur when it comes to things like this. *sigh*
linglingtai
June 11, 2009 at 2:24 pm
I used to approve, cos ‘pai seh’ to ignore, didn’t seem like a ‘polite’ thing to do.. but I don’t now… since I don’t really know/care about the person anyway… doesn’t matter if he/she thinks I’m snobbish =p
btw.. hi~ hope you’re having a great time in UK!
nice blog
iamme
June 11, 2009 at 10:05 am
Glad u like my blog. Comment more often ya?
I’m beginning to delete ppl on my facebook list. I don’t see the point of reading updates of ppl I haven’t spoken to in years and that I’m not interested in.
I think we’ve reached a point of social networking overload and ppl will start to filter and shape the type of online relationships they’d like to maintain. I know I’m beginning to do just that.
linglingtai
June 11, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Hey hey… amoi lingling. Guess who’s here?
Ok not surprise if you can’t recall at all, we’d been lost in touch for quite some time as you left without saying goodbye. 
To help you to recall, I joined “that MNC” you worked for and met you first time during the orientation.
Googled for your name and found this blog. It takes a while, as most of the search result pointed me to links for a panda named lingling…
I must confess I’ve not read the blog thoroughly yet, will come back and pay another visit.
Please receive this blessing from afar, be happy & most importantly, be healthy!
P/S: Along with the same dull advice, drink less! Beer doesn’t taste good (hypnotizing…).
Kenneth
June 11, 2009 at 5:47 pm
hey hey! of course I remember you! HOw have you been? Are you still at the MNC?
linglingtai
June 11, 2009 at 7:05 pm